Killing Time
Philip Terman
Wanting to kill some time between classes,
I drive downtown to return a video.
Late afternoon in late summer,
a few stands setting up for market,
a few stragglers casing out the tomatoes
and corn in the shadow of the library.
I order a strawberry Italian soda
from the café, check out The Ugly Lamp Thrift store.
Roxanne is at her desk. She looks up,
I have a few minutes to chat,
not a close friend, I ask how
she’s doing. My mother died last week.
This won’t be a quick greeting,
I’m committed, I have to stand here
and say something, I have to console
and I can’t look like I’m backing
away, I have to stand like a stone
and speak and ask the expected:
Was she ill? No. Was it sudden?
Yes, and Roxanne is trembling,
she’s trying not to show it but
she’s burying tears into her cheek,
she’s having a small breakdown
and I have to respond,
I have to hold her
and tell her my father died seven
years ago and now we are children
together sobbing and the silence
that follows, and then the small talk, is sweet.
Philip Terman is the author of six--soon to be seven--books of poetry. A retired professor at Clarion University, he directs writing workshops, teaches and coaches poetry, and attempts to help his wife in her garden.